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I am come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion. Men
have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness
is or is not the loftiest intelligence -- whether much that is glorious-
whether all that is profound -- does not spring from disease of thought
-- from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.
They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who
dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity,
and thrill, in awakening, to find that they have been upon the verge of
the great secret. In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which
is of good, and more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate,
however, rudderless or compassless into the vast ocean of the "light ineffable,"
and again, like the adventures of the Nubian geographer, "agressi sunt
mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi."
We will say, then, that I am mad. I grant, at least, that there are
two distinct conditions of my mental existence -- the condition of a lucid
reason, not to be disputed, and belonging to the memory of events forming
the first epoch of my life -- and a condition of shadow and doubt, appertaining
to the present, and to the recollection of what constitutes the second
great era of my being. Therefore, what I shall tell of the earlier period,
believe; and to what I may relate of the later time, give only such credit
as may seem due, or doubt it altogether, or, if doubt it ye cannot, then
play unto its riddle the Oedipus.
She whom I loved in youth, and of whom I now pen calmly and distinctly
these remembrances, was the sole daughter of the only sister of my mother
long departed. Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had always dwelled
together, beneath a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.
No unguided footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay away up among
a range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it, shutting out
the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. No path was trodden in its vicinity;
and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with force,
the foliage of many thousands of forest trees, and of crushing to death
the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that we lived
all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley -- I, and my
cousin, and her mother.
From the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of our encircled
domain, there crept out a narrow and deep river, brighter than all save
the eyes of Eleonora; and, winding stealthily about in mazy courses, it
passed away, at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still dimmer
than those whence it had issued. We called it the "River of Silence"; for
there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No murmur arose from
its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon
which we loved to gaze, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all,
but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining on
gloriously forever.
The margin of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets that glided
through devious ways into its channel, as well as the spaces that extended
from the margins away down into the depths of the streams until they reached
the bed of pebbles at the bottom, -- these spots, not less than the whole
surface of the valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled it
in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly even,
and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow buttercup,
the white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that its
exceeding beauty spoke to our hearts in loud tones, of the love and of
the glory of God.
And, here and there, in groves about this grass, like wildernesses of
dreams, sprang up fantastic trees, whose tall slender stems stood not upright,
but slanted gracefully toward the light that peered at noon-day into the
centre of the valley. Their mark was speckled with the vivid alternate
splendor of ebony and silver, and was smoother than all save the cheeks
of Eleonora; so that, but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves that
spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the Zephyrs,
one might have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homage to their
sovereign the Sun.
Hand in hand about this valley, for fifteen years, roamed I with Eleonora
before Love entered within our hearts. It was one evening at the close
of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourth of my own, that we
sat, locked in each other's embrace, beneath the serpent-like trees, and
looked down within the water of the River of Silence at our images therein.
We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day, and our words even
upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn the God Eros from
that wave, and now we felt that he had enkindled within us the fiery souls
of our forefathers. The passions which had for centuries distinguished
our race, came thronging with the fancies for which they had been equally
noted, and together breathed a delirious bliss over the Valley of the Many-Colored
Grass. A change fell upon all things. Strange, brilliant flowers, star-shaped,
burn out upon the trees where no flowers had been known before. The tints
of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the white daisies shrank
away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of the ruby-red asphodel.
And life arose in our paths; for the tall flamingo, hitherto unseen, with
all gay glowing birds, flaunted his scarlet plumage before us. The golden
and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom of which issued, little
by little, a murmur that swelled, at length, into a lulling melody more
divine than that of the harp of Aeolus-sweeter than all save the voice
of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had long watched
in the regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in crimson and
gold, and settling in peace above us, sank, day by day, lower and lower,
until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning all their
dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, within a
magic prison-house of grandeur and of glory.
The loveliness of Eleonora was that of the Seraphim; but she was a maiden
artless and innocent as the brief life she had led among the flowers. No
guile disguised the fervor of love which animated her heart, and she examined
with me its inmost recesses as we walked together in the Valley of the
Many-Colored Grass, and discoursed of the mighty changes which had lately
taken place therein.
At length, having spoken one day, in tears, of the last sad change which
must befall Humanity, she thenceforward dwelt only upon this one sorrowful
theme, interweaving it into all our converse, as, in the songs of the bard
of Schiraz, the same images are found occurring, again and again, in every
impressive variation of phrase.
She had seen that the finger of Death was upon her bosom -- that, like
the ephemeron, she had been made perfect in loveliness only to die; but
the terrors of the grave to her lay solely in a consideration which she
revealed to me, one evening at twilight, by the banks of the River of Silence.
She grieved to think that, having entombed her in the Valley of the Many-Colored
Grass, I would quit forever its happy recesses, transferring the love which
now was so passionately her own to some maiden of the outer and everyday
world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at the feet of Eleonora,
and offered up a vow, to herself and to Heaven, that I would never bind
myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth -- that I would in no manner
prove recreant to her dear memory, or to the memory of the devout affection
with which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty Ruler of the Universe
to witness the pious solemnity of my vow. And the curse which I invoked
of Him and of her, a saint in Helusion should I prove traitorous to that
promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of which will not
permit me to make record of it here. And the bright eyes of Eleonora grew
brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen had been taken
from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but she made
acceptance of the vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made easy
to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not many days afterward,
tranquilly dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of her
spirit she would watch over me in that spirit when departed, and, if so
it were permitted her return to me visibly in the watches of the night;
but, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in Paradise,
that she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence,
sighing upon me in the evening winds, or filling the air which I breathed
with perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words upon
her lips, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first
epoch of my own.
Thus far I have faithfully said. But as I pass the barrier in Times
path, formed by the death of my beloved, and proceed with the second era
of my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I mistrust
the perfect sanity of the record. But let me on. -- Years dragged themselves
along heavily, and still I dwelled within the Valley of the Many-Colored
Grass; but a second change had come upon all things. The star-shaped flowers
shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of
the green carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels withered
away; and there sprang up, in place of them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like
violets, that writhed uneasily and were ever encumbered with dew. And Life
departed from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his scarlet
plumage before us, but flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with all
the gay glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And the golden and
silver fish swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain
and bedecked the sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that had
been softer than the wind-harp of Aeolus, and more divine than all save
the voice of Eleonora, it died little by little away, in murmurs growing
lower and lower, until the stream returned, at length, utterly, into the
solemnity of its original silence. And then, lastly, the voluminous cloud
uprose, and, abandoning the tops of the mountains to the dimness of old,
fell back into the regions of Hesper, and took away all its manifold golden
and gorgeous glories from the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.
Yet the promises of Eleonora were not forgotten; for I heard the sounds
of the swinging of the censers of the angels; and streams of a holy perfume
floated ever and ever about the valley; and at lone hours, when my heart
beat heavily, the winds that bathed my brow came unto me laden with soft
sighs; and indistinct murmurs filled often the night air, and once -- oh,
but once only! I was awakened from a slumber, like the slumber of death,
by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my own.
But the void within my heart refused, even thus, to be filled. I longed
for the love which had before filled it to overflowing. At length the valley
pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I left it for ever for
the vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world.
I found myself within a strange city, where all things might have served
to blot from recollection the sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the
Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. The pomps and pageantries of a stately
court, and the mad clangor of arms, and the radiant loveliness of women,
bewildered and intoxicated my brain. But as yet my soul had proved true
to its vows, and the indications of the presence of Eleonora were still
given me in the silent hours of the night. Suddenly these manifestations
they ceased, and the world grew dark before mine eyes, and I stood aghast
at the burning thoughts which possessed, at the terrible temptations which
beset me; for there came from some far, far distant and unknown land, into
the gay court of the king I served, a maiden to whose beauty my whole recreant
heart yielded at once -- at whose footstool I bowed down without a struggle,
in the most ardent, in the most abject worship of love. What, indeed, was
my passion for the young girl of the valley in comparison with the fervor,
and the delirium, and the spirit-lifting ecstasy of adoration with which
I poured out my whole soul in tears at the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde?
-- Oh, bright was the seraph Ermengarde! and in that knowledge I had room
for none other. -- Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I looked
down into the depths of her memorial eyes, I thought only of them -- and
of her.
I wedded; -- nor dreaded the curse I had invoked; and its bitterness
was not visited upon me. And once -- but once again in the silence of the
night; there came through my lattice the soft sighs which had forsaken
me; and they modelled themselves into familiar and sweet voice, saying:
"Sleep in peace! -- for the Spirit of Love reigneth and ruleth, and,
in taking to thy passionate heart her who is Ermengarde, thou art absolved,
for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy vows unto
Eleonora."
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